Friday, November 22, 2013

A Postpartum Wish List and A Hospital Tour

Nothing makes my "chronic 'B' face worse than being 34 weeks pregnant...and trying not to eat sugar.

I hereby officially can not wait to:

Give my maternity jeans away.

Wake up multiple times in the night to snuggle a baby instead of to empty an evil, spastic bladder. 

Just walk - not hobble/waddle/limp.

Start running/lifting again. If my @$$ is going to hurt, I want it to be from a nice workout and not from a pinched nerve from a heavy baby sitting sideways on a stupidly tilted pelvis.

Nurse my baby. Despite a hard time with the other two, I am really ready to give it another go!

Watch my two big kids get to know their new sister.


Be able to roll over at night without waking myself and my husband up.
(No one ever talks about how evil rolling over is in late pregnancy! It's the worst!)

Put on my socks and shoes without feeling like I just ran a mile.

Look down and see my feet, not my belly.

Not be asked "when are you due" anymore.

Not have doctors appointments every. single. week.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

I have been working on this list, as a form of therapeutic venting, for over a week now - and almost didn't post it, because really, I'm pretty amazingly lucky to be pregnant and not have any complications and I should really make more positive lists...

...But negative lists are so much more fun to write. :)

Last night I got to tour the hospital where the baby will be born soon. Of course we could not find a sitter at 6pm, and because Matt actually wanted to go too, we stupidly bravely decided to bring Olive and Silas.

Of course, we were the only couple in the large touring group who brought their kids. In fact, I'm pretty sure (based on some of the questions they asked the guide) we were the only couple who weren't having their first kid. It was a funny experience.

We were looking at a labor room, which was really very nice (spacious, hardwood floors, private bathroom, etc.) and when the guide asked for questions, a lady asked "do all the rooms have ugly ceilings like these? Do you provide any attractive focal points?" I think my face looked like this... 

...because really? 

And I kid you not, one of the men asked if there were in-room refrigerators or coolers for beer? The guide, who was very good humored, said they keep a cooler under the bed for the placenta, and he might ask to share that. To which the guy replied very seriously, "that's not funny." 

And then I raised my hand and asked "are you sure there's no possibility of having to room share?"

And the guide immediately reassured me that under no circumstances would I have to share a room with anyone, and if worse came to worse and they ended up being over full, then baby and I would be moved to a private room on another floor.

Thank goodness.

We told Olive if she would be quiet, only speak when spoken to, and above all not ask any questions during the tour, she would be rewarded handsomely with ice cream at home. So she behaved perfectly, because the promise of ice cream works magic on that girl.

Silas on the other hand not only fussed and squawked and wanted to run screeching down the hallways past rooms filled with sleeping infants, exhausted parents and laboring stressed out mothers - he also managed to face plant on the hard floor very hard and left with a huge goose egg on his head. (So, I'm pretty sure the other couples were just as glad they didn't have to worry about room sharing with me as I was about not having to share with them.)

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