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| My Dad and I |
I am in recovery mode from my week away from home, visiting my family down south. I love my family, and have felt really emotional the last few months as I contemplate how being long distance and other various circumstances have changed a lot of the old dynamics of our relationships. I'm not sure if the new dynamics are necessarily better or worse, but it's all still emotionally draining sometimes. I still sometimes feel like I'm in that weird, difficult transitional period of separating from my family and being my OWN family with Matt, Olive and Silas. Anyhow...
Trying this new "currently" prompt I've enjoyed reading on other blogs that I follow. You can join along by following the link at the bottom of the page.
I am currently...
Feeling: Not good enough. I'm so easily discontented. It's my natural instinct to look at what everybody else has going on and to feel totally worthless and inadequate. Impulses like that are really hard to kill, I'm coming to find, in spite of my best intentions to do so. So I'm trying to get in a better state of mind by focusing on living in the present, being thankful for the blessings God has given me, and making choices throughout the day, EVERY day that promote health and well being.
Drinking: Not enough water, and too much coffee and Coke Zero. (Oh Coke Zero, why do I love you so much? I mean, you're actually kind of gross.)
Looking For: A realtor! I can't believe the time has really come to put this house on the market and move forward with plans to move! Nerve wracking and exciting!
Dreaming of: going on a date with my husband. It feels like we have so little time to just talk and hang out, even though he works from home. Between the demands of his job and the demands of our little ones, we are constantly distracted and exhausted. This is maybe kind of pathetic, but I think I am seriously grieving the loss of freedom that happens when babies come along. Sometimes my mind is screaming at me, "look at you, you're in your 20s, exhausted and covered in baby puke! You're a disaster!"(I am not saying that I regret my kids, I adore them and wouldn't trade them for anything!) But I do get those negative, grieving feelings and I'm struggling to discover the "new me." The me that is in her 20s, covered in baby puke and somehow not a disaster? I don't even know how I got on this rabbit trail you guys. Moving on.
Making: time for exercise and devotions. Because those things never fail to bring me peace of body and peace of mind.
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