Maybe someone reading this can empathize - but I feel like the enemy always tries to discourage me and get me depressed around birthdays. I mean, I can look back at birthdays as a kid and remember getting easily discouraged then too. Sometimes the discouragement happens because family forgets it's your birthday, or you feel like no one thinks you're special, and sometimes things just don't go the way you hoped... As I get older though, I find the discouragement mostly comes in the form of realizing I'm getting older really, really fast and that time just keeps getting faster. Sometimes I just can't believe how fast I'm approaching 30, because it seems like such a mature age, and I feel really immature still.
So the week of my birthday, I was feeling a bit down and pessimistic, and the reasons were all characteristically stupid and immature. Luckily I snapped out of it and my actual birthday (last Saturday) was one of the best days ever. Matt, Olive and Silas threw me the cutest little "party" with sparkly hats and horns, and Matt made me the most amazing gluten free/vegan coffee cake. We had a great day together, just the 4 (and a half) of us.
One thing I specifically asked for on this birthday, was to go out for breakfast - specifically for pancakes, which I haven't had since January. They were delicious, (and gave me a stomach ache later, of course,) but it was worth it for a rare birthday treat. We got to eat outside which was so fun and special!
Matt kept the kids for the afternoon so I could go out by myself for a bit. It was glorious. I shopped, browsed, and spent a good 2 hours reading at Barnes and Noble. (See that confused little baby bump? Looks much more like a beer gut at this stage, ugh.)
We went to the Farmers Market downtown and snagged some of the last asparagus of the season for a grilled birthday dinner. I have been cray-zay for asparagus lately. We have eaten so much this spring, and I still can't believe how much better the produce at the Farmers Market tastes than the produce at the store.
We finished the weekend off by having a picnic at the beach on Sunday evening. The water and sand felt so good, and while cleaning all the sand off our kids late that night was not exactly what we'd call "fun," it was such a great evening.
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I had a "weirded out" moment this week, when I realized that at 27 years old, I'll have been married for 7 years and have three children. My Mom was 27 the year she got married and almost 28 when she had me. It's just weird to think about.
I'm looking forward to this new year, even though I'm a little nervous about the life changes it's going to bring. Getting older is scary, at least it is for me, but I try to set my mind on what is true and good. It is a huge blessing to be turning another year older, hand in hand with my husband, and getting to watch our children learn and grow. I wouldn't have it any other way.
One of my favorite bloggers, Meg, wrote this on her blog today and it so perfectly summed up how I feel that I had to quote her..
"but here’s the thing, and this is a relatively new thought for me, i wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. because not everyone gets to have this experience. and maybe it’s lucky that i do. and others may live their lives “better–but not with my peculiar flavor and music.” this is my lot and i’ll be damned if i don’t figure it out. and frankly i’d like to see how it all plays out. which is to say, i’m invested in the story. i’m invested in the story of my own life. which, i think, is not a bad place to be at twenty-seven." - meg fee