Try to ignore my wonky, double-jointed finger situation.
Please tell me that my one year old isn't the only one year old who can scale an upright piano before knowing how to walk.
Please tell me that I'm not the only mom who has been changing a diaper, only to have their one year old sneak up behind and grab the dirty diaper and start playing with the diaper's...contents...on top of the "BIG MISTAKE" (which is my pet name for what used to be a white rug.)
Please tell me that your three year old has dumped and tried to flush your favorite makeup in the toilet.
Please tell me that you also have tried to bribe your six year old with ice cream to stop her from asking you to teach her how to sew at 2 pm when you have finally (hopefully) gotten the baby down for a nap after three failed attempts, and have not eaten lunch yet.
Please tell me that your three year old tries to feed your one year old lego blocks the minute you pick up a phone call.
Please tell me that you also start to cry when the rooms you spent an hour cleaning and organizing are undone within 4 minutes, (at least 4 times a day.)
Please tell me you ate most of your kids' Easter candy at night and then blamed it all on your husband, who just happens to be working super long hours last week, this week...and probably next week too.
I know, I know - none of this happens to you. We're just a special, one-of-a-kind wreck over here! :)
I'm realizing that I have a major Debbie Downer attitude these days, which is so ungrateful and inappropriate. Shame on me.
I'm also realizing that my children must be especially naughty, just based on the facial expressions of those who I relate their antics to. How did I get these hooligans? I was such an easy, awesome kid!