the sweetness: Odds, Ends & Nonsense

I slept in until 9 this morning. Goodness. Thankful for children in good, quiet moods that played quietly and peacefully for an hour (or 2) and for a husband who fed them their breakfast. The baby and I needed those extra z's.

I'm a few days shy of the 15 week mark. It's flying by. This pregnancy has been so weird. With Olive, I had all the time in the world to over think everything, (and of course I did just that.) With Silas, I still had ample time in the middle chasing 3 year old Olive around to think a lot about him and the pregnancy, and there were complications with Silas that kept my stress levels high for the duration of the nine months I carried him.

I hardly ever think about this new baby. In the last few weeks I feel like I've (blessedly) returned back to normal (no more sickies and plenty of energy, thank You Lord!) and I don't really feel pregnant. I don't even look that pregnant. I thought with a third baby, all the physical changes would be sooner and "bigger" but unless I've eaten a really big meal, I look about the same, haven't had to wear maternity clothes or even use the rubber band trick with my jeans. I feel little flutters every once in a while, but nothing as strong and consistent as I did with Silas around this time.

Every once in a while I'll get hit with a feeling of concern, and I'll listen anxiously for the baby with my home doppler. I always feel a nice wave of relief when I find that heartbeat, and enjoy a moment or two of happiness from knowing all's well. I feel guilty sometimes for not thinking about this baby as much as I did with my other two. The days are so full and busy, chasing and entertaining my big kids. It makes me wonder what our family dynamic will be like when this surprise babe is born, and how he/she will fit in.

Matt and I think we're still partly in denial that all of this is even happening. It's easy to forget when I feel good and am really distracted with the kids and life. Out of my 5 pregnancies, this is the only one I've ever felt so peaceful and stress-free over. And I wonder if, more than just being in denial, that God's just blessed me with a peace of knowing that whatever the outcome, everything's going to be ok.

Now, for some nonsense...